Here are a few more pics of Cadence really quick: 
I swear this child sleeps through anything! And she has the longest fingers I've ever seen.
She refused to let her little sister go, no one else was allowed to hold her.
And she wanted to watch Noggin with her baby sister and Grammy.
And they are definitely going home today. Which is wonderful, I just hope people will leave them alone long enough for them to adjust to Cadence being in the house. They need family time. :-)
On to the post for the day...
I only have a few things to say about my job right now...and it's that it is driving me insane. Why some people are able to carry on their bloodline is beyond me. But the government still has not made the test that people should take before being able to have children yet so these people can, in fact, have kids to carry on their stupidity. And I would just like to say that scares me for our future.
I have been seriously teetering on the edge of being depressed recently. I don't know why, so I am not able to explain it to you. It does have to do with many principles in my life, not just a set reason. It seems that all these things are building up and I'm starting to crack under the pressure. It's evident in my work ethic, my house work, and my relationships with my friends, family and otherwise.
I have lost all interest in work, I used to care how well I did my job and making sure that I came out on top...now it's meaningless. It's like something is missing in my life and happiness is not achievable. The house is a mess, because I just can't stay focused on cleaning. I get so angry because I'm doing it by myself all the time. My friends and family try to keep me in the loop of things but the harder they try, I feel myself trying even harder to withdraw. It's not that I don't want to be part and it's not that I don't want to see them or spend time with them, I just can't. I've always been a loner. And I guess my subconscious is trying to get me back to that, even if I don't want to be alone anymore. It's always been about how I can do this and how I can achieve that. Never a we, us or together we can. And that, quite frankly, is a bullshit way of thinking. I always thought happiness was winning in everything you do, but now I feel that I'm wrong. And maybe failure shouldn't be my greatest fear...maybe my greatest fear should be not ever knowing true happiness. All these years I've been thinking I couldn't fail at what I did, because happiness was found in the rewards. Now I find myself questioning where my happiness is. I'm on top...so why am I not happy? Don't get me wrong, I'm content with my life right now. But I do honestly wonder if my chance at true happiness has already escaped me. If when I was so focused on not failing at everything else, the chance slipped through my fingers without my even knowing it.
Anyway, I still have loads of work to do after being out sick last week.
Have a great day,
K
I swear this child sleeps through anything! And she has the longest fingers I've ever seen.
She refused to let her little sister go, no one else was allowed to hold her.
And she wanted to watch Noggin with her baby sister and Grammy.
And they are definitely going home today. Which is wonderful, I just hope people will leave them alone long enough for them to adjust to Cadence being in the house. They need family time. :-)
On to the post for the day...
I only have a few things to say about my job right now...and it's that it is driving me insane. Why some people are able to carry on their bloodline is beyond me. But the government still has not made the test that people should take before being able to have children yet so these people can, in fact, have kids to carry on their stupidity. And I would just like to say that scares me for our future.
I have been seriously teetering on the edge of being depressed recently. I don't know why, so I am not able to explain it to you. It does have to do with many principles in my life, not just a set reason. It seems that all these things are building up and I'm starting to crack under the pressure. It's evident in my work ethic, my house work, and my relationships with my friends, family and otherwise.
I have lost all interest in work, I used to care how well I did my job and making sure that I came out on top...now it's meaningless. It's like something is missing in my life and happiness is not achievable. The house is a mess, because I just can't stay focused on cleaning. I get so angry because I'm doing it by myself all the time. My friends and family try to keep me in the loop of things but the harder they try, I feel myself trying even harder to withdraw. It's not that I don't want to be part and it's not that I don't want to see them or spend time with them, I just can't. I've always been a loner. And I guess my subconscious is trying to get me back to that, even if I don't want to be alone anymore. It's always been about how I can do this and how I can achieve that. Never a we, us or together we can. And that, quite frankly, is a bullshit way of thinking. I always thought happiness was winning in everything you do, but now I feel that I'm wrong. And maybe failure shouldn't be my greatest fear...maybe my greatest fear should be not ever knowing true happiness. All these years I've been thinking I couldn't fail at what I did, because happiness was found in the rewards. Now I find myself questioning where my happiness is. I'm on top...so why am I not happy? Don't get me wrong, I'm content with my life right now. But I do honestly wonder if my chance at true happiness has already escaped me. If when I was so focused on not failing at everything else, the chance slipped through my fingers without my even knowing it.
Anyway, I still have loads of work to do after being out sick last week.
Have a great day,
K
2 comments:
You know I love you. And while it sucks that sometimes I never see you, that's as much my fault as it is yours.
http://lspoon.wordpress.com
Stupid people are breeding. That's for damn sure.
Feel better. Perhaps you're in a funk because the holidays were stressful and you got sick on top of that and feel yucky for not being able to take care of all your responsibilities. Clean your house from top to bottom and then kick back with a margarita and a good book as a reward. That always makes me feel good. Hang in there baby:)
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